한국, 사랑해, Love letter to Korea

We really need to talk about Korea.

It has been on my mind lately, and I'm concerned that you've never been!

The winter Olympics in Pyeong Chang have just concluded in a flourish of fabulousness, and other than the many conversations oogling over the attractiveness of Adam Rippon and my personal plans to stalk him until he realizes that we are meant for each other, I have had the opportunity to dissolve any safety concerns about Korea as a "dangerous place to be in this currently political climate." This perceived precarious atmosphere of tension and fear is curious and slightly amusing, because I used to live in Korea for nearly two years, and we were never scared. Of anything. The only alarming thing about living here was potentially getting sick off of too much soju... that was a much more valid concern.

Korea takes care of you, especially as a first time traveler. It's a very safe, easily traveled, very affordable country with an infrastructure that is efficient and always timely. You can use WiFi on the subway. UNDERGROUND. Most people in the big cities speak enough English to have a very decent conversation, if not a fluent one.

If you are living in NYC then you understand how incredible subway WiFi is.

What you are thinking of, perhaps, is North Korea. You're scared of North Korea. There are TWO KOREAS. Two countries. TWO. Please don't search for Airbnbs in North Korea after reading this article. Our South Korean friends and coworkers might, laugh with disbelief at anyone who asked if they were scared to be living so close to a dictator that threatens on a regular basis to torch the land with flames and create a sea of destruction the world has never known before. "He says that stuff all the time," they would answer flippantly, "it's just talk, there's no fear here. What, doesn't your own leader say crazy shit every half hour on twitter? Am I going to have to resort of a pneumonic device to get this straightened out for you?"

South = Safe, and North = Nope.

I hope that clears things up.

Lately I've found myself scheduling a lot of reunions with friends I made in Korea, fellow international English teachers who bonded together in this foreign place, a culture that mostly embraced us about 80% and tolerated our presence for the remaining 20%. It was easy for teachers to find each other, stick together, bond and form a family away from our homes in faraway America, Canada, South Africa, England, etc.. It was one of the most random and spontaneous decisions I've ever made, and it wasn't all sunshine and Goldendoodles, but I was so happy living there that I cried when I left, and I never ever ever cry. These were ugly tears. Really unpleasant. God, I just love Korea. I really really do.

Seoul is not usually on the travel radar for vacationers, but it really ought to be. I don't want to spoil Korea by telling all its secrets, but it's one of those hidden gems you have to experience.

Sometimes when we travel, we fall in love with a person, a memory, a certain beach. I fell in love with the entirety of Seoul. As I write this, my music filters in 2NE1, Blackpink, Big Bang, and possibly Girl's Generation. (side note, K-Pop is THE best music to workout to, even if you don't appreciate its musical genius you should definitely put it on your 5K running playlist). I can practically smell the kimchi and the smokiness of Korean BBQ curling into my hair, can feel the sharp twisted elbow of an Ajumma as she pushes her way through any crowd, almost feel the sweat as I emerge from dancing in Hongdae to see the sunrise on my way home, can feel the tambourine against my palm as we sing our 38th song in a Norebang room. I love Korea, and the more I think about it the faster my plans to return are coming into fruition.

You think you're tough? You haven't been hiking in Korea.

Every sometimes Saturday, when hangovers weren't an excuse to sleep the day away, my teacher friends and i would gather a small group together and take on a mountain near Seoul. I joined a hiking social club of both Koreans and Expats, and would join them sometimes on day excursions to places such as Bukansan, Dobangsan, Suraksan, Taebaksan, to name just a few. Can you guess what the suffix -san means?

Hiking can be pleasant, relaxing, meditative even. Not these-- these hikes were so intense that sometimes I would wonder whether or not I could climb to the top. Sometimes there would be ropes to hang on so you wouldn't fall to your inevitable doom, and sometimes there was just a small metal knob to hold onto or place a delicate foot edge against. The climbs were scary sometimes but the reward was a really great view and a bowl of maekoli (rice wine) at the end of the hike.

So the thing about Koreans is, they adore hobbies. They get into something, any one thing, and they throw themselves into it 100%. Hiking is a huge hobby here, and Koreans LOVE to wear the best and most official and appropriate hiking gear, sometimes hiking up the many mountains near Seoul every weekend. The hiking culture here made us feel very American and fat. While we felt proud of ourselves for getting our asses up one hill, we would stop for a second, drink water, and rest while a group of a dozen older Korean men and women in their 60's and 70's leapt past us, literally leaping up the mountain without a drop of sweat down their faces. It was a moment that would change my perception of my fitness capacity from a "I can handle most things," to a "I am an out of shape lizard monster."

This older generation are referred to as Ajosshi and Ajumma, older man and older woman, respectively. They share specific characteristics of physical vitality, feistiness, and not giving a single fuck. I would never want to get on the bad side of an Ajumma, because she would probably throw me off that mountain without any regrets. If she were a superhero, she would get all her power from her Ajumma stare and her elbows that can part the seas of crowded streets.

They are tough as nails, and I just have so much respect for them, no matter how mean they are to me because they will not let ANYBODY cross them. Okay, they've been through a lot, so it's totally understandable. (see: Recent Korean History). More than just an age bracket, Ajummas have become their own character in Korean society and invoke feelings of respect, fear, and sometimes ridicule, often confusion. They are hilarious, they are infuriating, they are honey badgers with a heart of gold. They wear crazy sweaters with rhinestones and they care not what you think of them.

Above all, they rule the country. It's better to get out of their way.

Ajummas in a subway is an Ajumma you respect from afar. Ajumma going on a hike with her girlfriends, however, is an Ajumma who will welcome you warmly and even offer some of her picnic kimbap or noodles she heated with her portable hot plate. If they are anything, it's organized. Their outfits will be hilariously predictable, matching hiking gear of brightly florescent colors like pink and green, a plastic visor covering their face and protecting it from the sun. Hiking stick optional, 90% chance of a matching hiking backpack.

I adored these hikes because it let me spend quality time with my girlfriends in Korea without the distractions of soju or city life to get in the way of meaningful conversation. Also, I'm mildly obsessed with exercising and if I don't do some kind of physical activity every day I become a text book psychopath.

Anyone can be an Ajumma Hiker, you just have to have the right attitude. And the right visor.

It's a myth that when you get older you have to slow down. I believe in the power of motion to stop time, even reverse it. I mean, technically that's how time works, the faster you go the slower time moves.

just some vertical stairs up to heaven, or wherever....

Hikes with my Chingus (Korean for "friends")

Do you like looking gorgeous? Korea will make you look absolutely stunning, and never shame you for vanity in public.

Korean face masks with snail mucus, avocado, pearl, rose, ginseng, mungbean extract... face serum that erases wrinkles, eye cream that smooths and brightens, egg white facial foaming cleanser, makeup that blends into your skin shade, false eyelashes, face oils for every face, anything and everything related to making your skin care routine fun and effective for your personal skin type is here.

Where to find these magical products? Literally ANYWHERE.

Myeongdong is a famous neighborhood for shopping paradise, but also check out the subways, with stores underground giving you a broad sample of the variety of makeup and skin care brands. They let you sample the makeup in the store freely, along with the nail polish. Seoulites love to go shopping, and it's insanely fun to do it here. Street food vendors scatter along the sidewalks selling french fries curled in a cone, Tteokbokki, Gyeran-bang, and dried squid are just some of the options, more of which you can read about HERE.

Don't wear heels while you're here, we've got a lot more shopping to do.

Once your quest for the fountain of youth and beauty has sufficed, and the billboards surrounding you reminding you of the acceptance of plastic surgery in Korea as a normal graduation gift to yourself after highschool, keep on shopping at the many many markets in Seoul. Dongdaemun, Namdaemun, and Noryangjin (fish market) are the main places to spend all your money.

Fun random story time: I went to Noryangjin and ate LIVE OCTOPUS not once but twice during my time here. It was scary at first, then really fun as the octopus bite sized pieces wriggled around on my plate for a couple of hours, but regretful after I realized how intelligent Octopuses are. I vowed never to eat them again.

Dongdaemun is one of my favorite places to go, and you are able to bargain to a certain extent- it could take several hours to get through everything here, and the clothes are so affordable there's no buyers remorse preparation necessary. They all stay open really really late too, which is very convenient and slightly evil of them.

Party Rocking in the House Tonight

Saying farewell to the night at 6:00am was not an interesting story, because it happened so regularly that it was just called "going home." I remember yawning in front of my friends at 2:30 once and claiming that I was a bit tired, and immediately getting absolutely scolded for my spontaneous betrayal.

"Why don't you love us?" My friend asked, horrified. "Have another drink and dance with me NOW! You're not tired. That's just a trick of the light."

Korean culture tends to be a little on the bossy side, and when you live there full time it creeps into your personality.

Powering Through became my philosophy and strategy of survival. The nightlife in Korea is the best, and needs to be taken in the whole night to be appreciated. Friday nights is "club night", when you pay about 11,000 won ($11) to get entrance to about a dozen clubs and bars. The partying simply never stops here, and it's a very common sight to see a Korean businessman or anyone really, passed out on a bench or in the subway in the morning still wearing their work clothes.

The top places to drop it like its hot like its made from gochuchang.

Hongdae > for the younger, college aged artsy Korean crowd, and also just the cutest place to find unique and quirky coffee shops and cafes during the day. At night the entire area is filled with partiers and merriment, the style a bit more casual than the ritzier Kangnam. I remember our routine was usually eating the most delicious most amazing Barbecue here and then heading to a bar, then a club, and then most often ending up at a norebang.

norebangs should not have such comfy couches... passed out at about 5.

Kangnam > also has clubs and bars, with a more affluent vibe glittering up the streets. Many Korean girls here look like they are grabbing a drink after work, as Kangnam is a business disctrict. More upscale restaurants, and a 30ish professional crowd can be found here. If you go out to the club in Kangnam, you're more likely to enter a place with bottle service, for example, than the hipster streets of Hongdae.

Itaewon > okay, Itaewon is a neighborhood that is designated as the foreigner district, for better or for worse. For some it had the reputation of being slightly obnoxious and a place to "let loose" without the restraints of a disciplined Korean workplace for expats teaching English for the first time. Which can be obnoxious, especially if those people are also mixed with military guys who haven't ever been away from their tiny midwestern towns until moving to Seoul. For others, it feels comfortable and reflects an international, cosmopolitan atmosphere of tolerance and acceptance. There is a legitimate country music bar here called Grand Ole Oprey, with line dancers that made me ashamed to have ever made fun of line dancers. All the gay bars are located here too, in a place affectionately named Homo Hill. There is a bar that serves the mot delicious kimchi fried rice at 4am, there is the best Thai food here, the best Indian food, the best bars, the best parties. There is the most ridiculous swimming pool on the Hamilton Hotel rooftop that every expat I know went to on Saturdays to socialize, drink, dance to the DJ music, and watch Korean body builders strutting their super hard bods around. There's a ton of Irish pubs too, and even a Canadian bar that serves poutine, and an authentic South African bar that I went to with my South African friend who insisted it was, indeed, authentic. Itaewon has most likely changed since I left it, the area a valuable resource for starting new businesses and networking with the expat community. Itaewon is the only place where foreigners can buy clothes that fit them if they are any taller than 5'10. It's a place that has a bad rep for being "dirty" but that is mainly just a way for Koreans to be racist or homophobic. (oh haven't you heard? Koreans can be blatantly racist. It's okay for me to say that because I'm part Asian....) Itaewon is a hodgepodge of cultures and it can be a refuge for those working in such a homogenized society as Korea.

Itaewon Freedom. Enjoying individuality, steroids, and day drinking.

Are you Exhausted? Get a Salt Scrub from an Ajumma wearing black lingere while you lie naked on a metal table. It's not awkward.

There's this thing called a Jimjilbang, the Korean word for Spa. A Korean Spa is special. You are handed a set of gym clothes, a simple t-shirt and shorts outfit, color coded for boys and girls, and a bracelet with a barcoded device to pay for every service or meal you elect while inside.

There is a co-ed area, where you can share a meal of Korean food near the iglooed saunas that are lined on the inside with some special healing gemstone or element like charcoal, clay, jade, salt, or crystals. In other rooms might be entertainment like an arcade or a nap area that I believe should be located on every corner in NYC and in all the airports in the world.

The men and women must part ways, however, once they decide to have a nice soak. The hot tubs are clothing forbidden, and after you disrobe and shower, you can enjoy the large hot spas to your heart's content. Sign up for a salt scrub, and get ready to be rubbed and scrubbed down by a middle aged woman in black underwear, a mitt full of epsom salt ready to get you as soft and clean as you've ever been in your life. It can be a little strange when she's lifting your leg up and scrubbing your butt, but you forget all about modesty here and only remember the feeling of absolute bliss when you shower the salt off and feel like your soul has been reborn.

Some jimjilbangs have small movie theaters, some have hot spas filled with green tea or ginseng infused waters. All offer a dose of tranquility and natural healing that will make you glow. This is one beautiful ritual that I wish Americans would embrace. But I highly doubt we will with our Puritan distaste for public nudity.

Let Them Eat Kimchi Pajeon!

Some things you need to eat in Korea that will invigorate, inspire, and infiltrate your senses.

Kimchi > it's fermented cabbage that is marinated in a spicy Korean sauce that is existentially Korean and even if you hate it, you've just got to try it. It's loaded with good for you things and I'm convinced it helps Ajummas retain their edge and live for 500 years.
Dak Galbi > barbecued chicken. But not the kind you are thinking of. This version is sweeter and spicier and flavored to Korean tastes, not breaded but just marinated and grilled. It's mixed with vegetables and rice cakes, and at the end of your meal if you're not already stretched to the limit, you have the option of recooking the charred leftover chicken and sauce in a refried rice dish which is absolutely breathtaking.
Galbi > pork ribs, cooked in a traditional Korean BBQ grill in the center of the table, eaten with a bit of meat placed delicately inside a lettuce leaf, included with a smack of gochuchang and other things of your choosing such as kimchi, marinated spinach, or rice.
Banchan > these are side dishes that are unlimited and brought to you throughout the meal. You can actually get full off of only banchan if you want to just mooch off your friends and save money. They're really tasty.
Japchae > vermicelli noodles, mixed with veggies and in a soy sauce base, not a soupy noodle dish.
Pajeon > Korean savory pancake, round flat and fried, and can be seafood, kimchi, or beef inspired.
Tteok Bokki > oh yum. This is a street food item usually, rice cake mixed with fish cake, other stuff, in a spicy gochuchang sauce. Cheap and incredibly filling and satisfying.
Kimbap > Maki like sushi rolls, but please don't call it sushi! These rolls are more heartier than the Japanese counterpart, with ingredients like ham, pickled vegetables, kimchi, cooked tuna, carrot, and bulgogi. Also incredibly cheap and filling, often my go to lunch when I was feeling extra poor as a teacher. So, every day usually.
Hotteok > sweet pancake with a filling of cinnamon and peanut, a street food favorite.
Songpyeon > this is a half moon shaped rice cake sweet filled with a honey and nut concoction, and it was one of my all time favorites. Highly addictive. Proceed with caution.
Pat Bingsu > this dessert is shaved ice, ice cream, condensed milk, with sweet bean paste, fruit, mochi, and any other toppings the cafe features. My personal favorite.

There are so many more that I didn't list, but even living in Korea for two years didn't give me enough time to try all the things I wanted to. here's so much variety in Korean food, the main flavors brought out with the vibrant marinades brought electric with gochujang (red pepper paste), soy sauce, garlic, and sesame oil. The sweets aren’t as sweet as American versions, and use a lot of sweet rice mochi, red bean paste, peanuts and honey.

Eating out in Korea is like dining in Europe— there’s no rush to leave, no pressure to pay the bill as soon as you finish most of your plate, and no server hovering around you to make sure every desire is fulfilled. They leave you alone to do your thing; the only way to gain their affection is with a loud “Chogiyo!” and “Yogiyo!” from across the room. It was nice because I get so annoyed in the states when the sever comes to check on you every ten minutes.

Korean barbecue is best enjoyed among friends or family, with one shared grill located in the center of the table, about a dozen banchan side dishes surrounding the main dish, a communal eating experience that is definitely not available for takeout or to-go boxes. You might stay for several hours just relaxing and socializing, taking multiple breaks before continuing to eat the rest of the meat on the grill.

After everything you’ll probably only spend $10-$15, including everything from tax, to alcohol. Soju bottles in Korea are about $2 US, a dramatic change from the American price of $20, and everyone drinks Soju or beer. There is no need to tip in Korea, and that is a beautiful thing.

This kimchi jigae (kimchi soup) is Korea's answer to chicken soup, but no it isn't, because kimchi jigae is AMAZING and chicken soup is like watery chicken juice in comparison. Chicken soup, you have a lot to learn, mister.

A delightful meal with my coteacher Chloe in Gangwon, a small city by the sea with obviously heavenly seafood.

Banchan Overload at one of my favs. These are all side dishes and therefore FREE. When you finish them they bring you more. And more. And more. How do Koreans stay so skinny?

If You're Bored Here, That's On You.

If you asked me a suggestion on what to do, I'd point you to a festival. Any time of the year is a good time for a festival. I went to the Ice Festival in Peyong Yang in the winter and went ice fishing, then a bunch of crazy people jumped into the ice and caught them with their bare hands:

Also went twice to the lantern festival in the fall, with extremely impressive lanterns lighting up the streets during the parade along the river in Seoul. Festivals are constant activities here, with a lot of phenomenal street food to sample.

Feel like dressing up like a fancy lady? Head over to the Princess Cafe and enjoy the prepared photo shoot for you and your friends. Choose either a wedding dress, traditional hanbok, or a variety of other styles such as a saloon girl western dress, and go bananas. Themed cafes are kind of a thing here.

I took the theatrical part of the photo shoot very seriously.

Other themed cafes include Board Game Cafes, cat cafes, Hello Kitty cafe, a jewelry making cafe, a Poop themed cafe with desserts actually in adorable poop shapes, and a sheep cafe in Hongdae that actually has two pet sheep you can meet outside the cafe. They're so cute!

Some people might be surprised that Korea is a very cafe oriented place. I remember walking down streets in Hongdae or Hyewa, seeing so many unique and artistic cafes, coffee shops, dessert shops, and boutique clothing store. It was much less standardized than American coffee shops, featuring a decidedly cuter approach to design. They are one of the highest coffee consumers in the world, and love to get coffee right after dinner as a digestive.

This cat cafe featured many fluffy, well taken care of cats and clean floors for your enjoyment of all things cat.

Other random things to do in Korea include flying down to Jeju Island to see the sex themed outdoor exhibition Loveland, which has a very interesting history involving an attempt to educate Korean couples who had been stuck together via arranged marriages in the 70's. In the early 2000's, the university commissioned artist to create the sculptures that exist today, over 100 sculptures engaging in sexual activities of various kinds, some salacious and others outright hilarious. There's even a row of phallic sculptures in every different kind of material, some with different themes like "robot". Koreans have a very funny, very dirty sense of humor, as it turns out, and the park is hands down worth the flight to Jeju. Trust me. It's amazing.

Gamble with Old Korean Guys at the Horse Races > it was actually one of my favorite things to do in Seoul. Every weekend the horse races in Seoul Racecourse Park hosted an entire day's worth of horse races that you could bet on. It was such fun, and towarsd the end of the day it was beyond entertaining to see the Korean gamblers either elated with joy or just crest fallen with disappointment. Koreans are sometimes dubbed the "Italians" of Asia, which just means they are naturally more expressive and hot headed than other East Asian cultures. The emotion is written on the face, but usually released and not suppressed forever.

Get into the swing of things at a swing dance class > Koreans have the world's biggest swing dance subculture that is 8 parts adorable and 2 parts non stop energy. The social dances here are really impressive, the girls dressing up in 1950's swing dance dresses and bows, the parties with live swing music and a refusal to sell alcohol. This is a true commitment to old fashioned dances, with men approaching women and asking for a dance. At first it might seem a little awkward but it all changes when you realize that they know what they're doing, and after two hours of Lindy Hop you'll feel exponentially happier and invest in some proper swing dance shoes. From Harlem to Seoul, swing dance has taken over, and it's so beautiful. They are so good; it was intimidating sometimes to dance with them because I didn't want to be that forbidden "ugly American" that can sometimes is difficult to avoid in this crowd. But oh my god, was I smiling for days after a social dance like this? Hell yes I was!

Korea is an evolving place, and I'm excited to go again to see what has changed in the past six years or so, and where the country is going in the future. Living here changed my life and my perspective towards the rest of the world, and allowed me to realize that I had my own set of stereotypes and assumptions about this country that I was glad to be broken of.

If you're interested in teaching English in Korea like I and 99% of the Expats here did and are doing, visit the infamous site Daves ESL Cafe, providing all the job resources you need to get started. Usually schools will pay for the flight to Korea and back, cover your rent in your apartment that is generally a ten minute walk from the school, and they cover your pension when you leave-- so one year as a teacher will earn you one month's salary when you leave. Not a bad deal, especially when you get to also take advantage of Korean healthcare, which is extremely good and extremely cheap. >Also, side note, they sell birth control bills over the counter and it's usually half the price.<

I'd better stop before I look up real estate in Seoul... this nostalgia is making me crave a coffee from Cafe Bene and use my mung bean face mask I got from The Face Shop so I can get ready for my silent disco party near the Hongdae playground.

Signing off for now XO

Soaking up the sunshine in beautiful Gangwon Province. This country has everything.